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Movie Review: Fallen

This was… so bad?

One star review.

I’m sorry if you liked this, but I have to be honest and say this was one of the most poorly written cheesefests I’ve ever watched.

This series was one of the first I ever read when I got into books. And though I didn’t finish it (DNF’d book 2 I believe), I’ve been following this for a while and anticipating its release but… I think this was 2-3 years too late. This would have done (a bit) better in 2013, 2012, but 2017 is full of memes and beautiful cinematics, prime Oscar-winning acting and a cast that can get an American accent right. The Twilight phase has passed, and quite frankly, we’re just not into fallen angels anymore. Vampires, angels and werewolves? Pfft. More like sexy Fae warriors.

So… where and how do I begin? This movie could’ve had more potential than its’ 7% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, if it weren’t for all of the overdone slo-mo’s, the breathless, speechless close ups, the staring into each others eyes lovingly for more than 6 seconds (per person) while a gasp escapes their lips, the TERRIBLE writing (like, seriously, who hired the writers in this?), the overuse of the same freaking music clip of a woman depicting the voice of an angel (we get it), the poor choice in cast for the most part, and let’s not forget the absolute EMOTIONLESS actress who starred as Luce.

While she hits the nail on the head pretty spot on with how I picture Luce, she was so lifeless. She showed absolutely zero emotion and only delivered her poorly written, cheesy and cliche lines with so much monotone that my brain spasmed. While she is pretty and overall suit the role… someone get her some acting lessons.

Daniel. Oh, my GAWD. I get it, you’re English, but could you have not practiced a little more with your accent before you started filming? At the beginning of hearing him speak I, no joke, thought he had a heavy accent from somewhere in Europe. It was so thick and terrible, like you could tell he was overthinking it. Man. One of the worst, if not the most, horrible American accents.

What the HELL was that scene on the motorcycle?? A 16 year old suddenly knows how to ride a motorcycle with the ease of someone who has been riding for 20 years? Are you freaking kidding me? That was a joke right?

But not as much of a joke as the last 10 minutes. The fight between Cam and Daniel in the air, then Daniel whisking her away with their abundance of close-up slo-mo’s. Someone save me.

They were totally anticipating a cash-grab sequel fest with this and I can confidently predict that there will be … none.

Another thing that really peeved me was the ‘foreshadowing’. If someone watched this without any knowledge of the books, it still would be SO obvious what was going to happen, who was who, and the overall ‘twists’ to the story. So many things were left out that made the story interesting and gave it depth, and I feel like even though they included all of the characters from the story, every single character lacked depth, personality and any real reason of being in the movie. Lame.

 

The set was beautiful. I loved the manor where they stayed, and it really helped spark some old scenes from my memory when I read this book (long ago).

Pen was definitely my favourite. Good acting, cute character, charming, sweet, and she was the only one that felt real to me in this. Everyone else was so overly done with cheese. So much cheese.

 

If you want to watch this for shits and giggles to see how they translated this from book to movie, then go ahead.

If you’re somewhere between the ages of 12-14 you may like this.

If you loved the series when you were younger and don’t want to ruin this then… don’t. It will let ruin it for you most likely.

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